Sora's Dilemma
by Freezing Cold Memories
Summary: Sora learns the hard way why some things are better left untouched. One-shot, no major pairings, perhaps maybe a little crack-ish


I inspected the slightly greenish bottle with a mixture of curiosity and fear churning in my dehydrated self. Riku had brought this bottle home, and last time someone messed with something Riku brought home, they turned purple. And let me tell you, Daisy **was not** happy that her boyfriend had feathers covered in a lovely (according to Kairi) shade of violet the exact night he was supposed to take her to dinner. She thought he did it on purpose; chased him all through town. That crud took **weeks** to wash out.

But I couldn't resist. It said "no side effects" (Break it to me. Just how idiotic am I for believing that????), on it, anyway. Dang, I was a complete baka. I was just soooooooo…thirsty………. I lifted the bottle up, and drank. The liquid- if you can call that liquid, felt like **slime** in a way- slowly burned its way down my throat, leaving a tingly sensation in my mouth, like peppermint. Now, I **do not** recommend drinking it if you are dying of thirst. It just makes you feel thirstier, and has some **nasty** side effects, such as passing out. Labels suck.

Next thing I know, I'm practically swimming in my clothes (by the way, that rumor about me wearing the same pants for two years straight, IT'S NOT TRUE. I don't know who came up with that, but I change. Geez.) , and everything looked like it belonged to a giant. It's like _oh hey, when did Riku's shoes get so flippin' __**big!?!**_ That's when it hit me. Nothing had gotten bigger. I had gotten smaller.

_Omigosh, what am I gonna do!? How do I get back!?_ were the only things I could muster to think for the next half-hour. After I finally calmed down, I noticed something par-tic-ularly disturbing: my clothes hadn't shrunk with me.

So, I had a first order of business: Getting some darned clothes. Although first I'd have to get out of these. My now enormous shorts were smothering me. Man, I never knew clothes could be so heavy. And when I **did **eventually escape from my cottony prison (Don't give me that look!!), I realized what I should've realized oh-so-long ago: Why the heck would Riku have clothes my current size in his room!?!?!

I ran to Riku's desk and hid behind one of its wooden legs, hoping with all my heart (no pun intended, I'm trying to talk!) that no one would enter the room. When I finally convinced myself no one was coming, I frantically ran around, trying to find any and all items that could be used as a cover for my shivering, pathetic self. And let me tell you, it is **hard** to fashion something out of paper and flimsy string. Although it was harder to find a scrap of paper that didn't have love letters on it. Hmm… That reminds me, I still have to ask Riku who this Hikari person is… As I cursed the fact I couldn't tear a flipping piece of paper without getting a papercut covering half my miniaturized body, in enters the one and only: Aimi.

Aimi is my younger sister, but I also believe she is possibly a heartless, the way she treats me. Hey, I am the keyblade master!! Can I get no respect!? And worse, with her, it's always "Riku this" and "Riku that", always "Riku Riku Riku." ARGH. Personal grievances aside, Aimi spots poor unloved, underappreaciated me, (sitting perfectly still as to *not* attract attention), and starts squealing her big head off about how Riku has bought her a "dolly". _Oh snap._ _I betcha I got 40 papercuts for nothing… WHY!?! Why always me!?! Answer me, light!!!! Or next time I will LET the bad guys take over!!!_

_Take this brat away from me!! Please!_

So anyhoo, Aimi was picking me up an if I could've **breathed** (that kid has a grip tighter than one of Goofy's "hugs" that darn near turn you blue), I probably would have been screaming my head off. Not too mention how sticky she was. Didn't I **tell** the kid to wash her hands before messing with stuff!?! Well, she carries me and drops me from three feet into a pink (ugh) dollhouse.

As of now, Mini-me carries some battle scars. Nothing could compare to how my **pride** was damaged here next, though. Aimi returns with her tools of torture: a dress and toy teacups. **How hard is it to tell I'm a boy!?!?!** Spiky hair! Masculine voice! Why does fate torture me so!?! And the teacups! I was so little; I could swim in one of those things!!! But Aimi does not seem to realize the obvious, as she jams the dress onto my now pitiable body (with paper toga thing still on. I think I may have gotten a few more papercuts there…), and pours only-heaven-knows-what into one of her damaged teacups. (I tell Kairi not to get her things that she will break, but does she listen? Noooooooo.) It was cracked-although shattered was more like it-and got that, that **gunk** on my dress. Hey, why are looking like that again? What!? You think I like dresses?? …I hate you.

Just when I thought things could only get worse, something happened. It got worse. What did you expect!? Mom called Aimi, probably for trying to paint the dog's nails. So, I, naturally, thought this my chance to escape. But Aimi once again dumps me in that horrid dollhouse of hers. That kid always seems to remember the least convenient things. Unable to restrain myself, I tied to summon my keyblade, but that, unfortunately, had not shrunk.

So, squished by my own weapon, I started yelling out swear words that came out as if I was on helium. Of course, right when I get to the juicy ones, Kairi comes in, aiming to ask Aimi where I was at. Well, I don't see her at first, and just keep right on swearing. But then I realize who's here.

"Aimi? Aimi!? Where's Sora? Is he okay? I can't find him!"

"Yeah, I'm plenty okay Kairi, thanks for asking!!"

That is Kairi turned around and saw me, in all my shame. C'mon, miniaturized, in a dress, trapped in a pink dollhouse, and squished by your own weapon that just so happens to be a giant key. Does anyone want their future girlfriend to see them like this? My almost-worst fears were realized when Kairi started laughing so hard she was crying. I made a new friend that day, although my head and the wall may have been previously introduced. I don't remember.

For a while, whilst Kairi was having her laughing fit, I had the vile feeling that princess Kairi was going to leave me in my misery. But, after she got over seeing a ravaged me, she did agree to remove me from Aimi's room. It took an hour of begging and a pound of cookies for Aimi to release her newfound treasure of a tormented soul.

I had to live in Kairi's house for several days before Riku came home from the desolate, lonely (suits him) world he had been exploring. When she saw him, Kairi gave a loooong lecture on how shrinking elixirs should not be left out for "children" to play with. Gee, thanks Kairi. Not even going to go into the fake label ordeal.

But yesterday, after exactly two weeks, three days, and seven hours (when you are in misery, you keep track), Riku managed to get a hold of the counter-potion, or whatever the heck it's called. I am now normal height, but my stomach is still beaten. Stupid paper…

"Go cry in your emo corner, Sora."

"Shut up Riku! If it weren't for you, none of this would have happened!!"

"And you never would have gotten all that sympathy from Kairi."

"…"

Okay, whatever. Why do I tell you the extent of my sorrow and misery, you may ask? The moral is: **Never ever mess with anything Riku brings home. I don't care if you are dying or what. Just don't.** I told you my story, and I AM NOT going to come save you if you do not heed my words. It will be your problem, not mine. …I think I hear Kairi…

"What, Kairi!?!"

"Aimi got herself shrunk!!"

"Not my problem!!!"

"Yes, it is!! Or I will use those pictures!"

"Gah… Fine…"

Yeah………… Those pictures are another story. Darnit.

~~Fin.~~

Author's note: Yeah, I just realized I might need to put this here (I mean the author's note). Feedback of any sort at all is appreciated, but if you're going to criticize/flame me, tell me what needs work. Maybe humor just isn't my genre, I myself felt I could've done loads better. Love it or hate it, if you've got something to say, say it.


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